A cool spring breeze blew from the west, that
smelled fresh, but carried undertones of the shared dumpster behind the Trader
Joes. As the setting sun sank below the rolling, periwinkle hills, and the
cotton candy clouds on sticks of contrails dissipated into puddles of fluff,
the line around the Danford Cineplex stretched longer than the shadow of the
gigantic golden arches on the corner of route 30.
Maria wore a Red ApocalEclipse T-shirt with two
star-crossed lovers staring longingly into each other's eyes. The characters are
both 17, but played by actors well in their twenties. On the back of the shirt
it said "Red Army". When the
breeze picked up she unconsciously zippered up her windbreaker, concealing the
T-shirt but never taking her eyes off her phone. "The Pollster for the
Danford Cineplex says our ending is 56% likely!"
Another watcher, who Maria only knew by his
internet handle Eclipse1999 said, "Pollster
is contaminated, the Death Campers always vote in our favor to make our lobbyists
lazy."
"Maybe, but someone from the group of War
Camp watchers at the front of the line keeps tweeting with the hash
"tonight's the night"."
The Red Army, the Danford faction of War Camp,
was perhaps thirty strong, but there were only eighteen present in Maria's
group of watchers. The line itself was around 300 long and every-so-often a
pox-marked man in his thirties, in a red Cineplex vest would labor past, clicking
a head count and letting everyone past 250 know that there were no tickets for
sale, and no guarantee of getting in.
"Well look who it is," said R3dHors3, "Vinnie decided to show
up."
Maria looked up to see a fellow Red Army
watcher walking toward them, she had never met him before, but felt the instant
camaraderie she'd felt with all the Red Army. Vinnie said, "Hey. I'm
Vinnie," and though many didn't bother looking up from their phones, the
group opened up to welcome him into its mass. "I'm seeing a lot of Death
Camp shirts, there must be at least three lobbying the north wall. Don't kill
the messenger, but I get the feeling that we should try again on another night,
maybe not on a Friday when there are so many Firsties."
"Firsties are our best bet!" said ApocalForever as he came back from
lobbying. "Half of them are content to be manipulated by the freaking
soundtrack, but the other half are happy to hear what kind of movie they can
choose if they vote for the right timeline."
RedArmy1
spoke up. "It's true.
Apocal, how many did you get?"
"Twelve."
RedArmy1 nodded, "Nice."
Vinnie seemed unimpressed. "You know how Firsties
are, they say yes, but half of them get wrapped up in the movie and forget when
it comes down to the timeline choice! Then they try to tell you they voted the
other way at the end when you're doling out rewards."
RedArmy1 squared off with him, "Who are
you?"
R3dHors3 spoke up and tried to put himself
between Red and Vinnie, "This is my friend Vinnie."
RedArmy1 ignored him, "What's your eu-en, Vinnie?"
"I don't have a username, I'm not on your forum,
I'm from Newberg. Ryan --sorry-- Red horse said you guys had a chance to see
the Red Army ending. I'm here to support, but it looks like you're
outnumbered."
RedArmy1 backed down, "Well, thanks for
driving all the way out here." He shook his head, "Gaaah, I want to
see that ending so bad! I've seen this movie thirty freaking times, and I swear if I see another sappy ending where Pestilence
and Famine team up with Gabriel and Death, I will drive-by the director's house!"
"Oh shit!" Maria said, "Twitter
just exploded! A group of watchers down in Austin got the Red Army. They didn't
spoil it, or give timeline directions, but they keep hashing 'darkest
timeline'."
Redleah4, one of other women in the Red Army asked, "What
if we vote FOR Death early, maybe there's a timeline vote that could paint the
son of Death as a power hungry ass-bag? People will be more likely to route for
the underdog later."
Maria
shook her head, but RedArmy1 answered, "We tried that last month."
Redleah4's shoulders slumped, and Maria
offered, "Yeah. Remember the timeline where Leah gets in trouble with the gang
of Morphine dealers? Within the first week of the ApocalEclipse opening,
spoilers got around and everyone found out that when Leah chooses the Son of
War, it puts the War compound in a position to side with Leah, but War would
have to kill the Morphos--"
"And without the Morphos, Pestilence would
have a foothold into War's compound," Redl4ah realized aloud.
Maria continued, "Right. It forces the Son
of War to leave his family, but without the compound he's straight-up pathetic.
Like Dudley Dursley pathetic. Leah starts
doubting his ability to protect their child, but that's before he knows she's
preggers. Ever since the second week only
firstie watchers ever vote for that Son of War timeline, unless we tell them
how it ends."
"How we think it ends," Vinnie corrected.
Redleah4 sucked on her hair. "Hm. I knew I
was supposed to vote for her to ask for the Son of Death's help, but I mean,
we're Red Army so I never wanted to ask why it seemed like we were helping
Death Campers."
RedArmy1 turned to Maria, "Madonna2000, go
recruit some more Firsties."
In all fairness it was her turn, but she got
the feeling that RedArmy1 was punishing her for mentioning their failed
conquest. She nodded and started wandering down the line.
"Hey, hi," she said, approaching a couple
obviously from the city.
"We have pre-buy," said the man/husband,
assuming she was going to ask them for tickets, "Sorry
non-transferable." he shrugged.
"I'm not here to buy, I was just wondering
if you have put any thought into your timeline choices?"
They exchanged a look that only old people were
capable of, and the woman shook her head. "Sorry. We don't vote."
"WHAT?" Maria couldn't help herself
and probably lost two watchers in the process, "Why on Earth would you
come to a 4D movie and not vote? The alternate timelines are the whole point?
Do you also watch 3D movies with an eye patch?"
The man/husband stepped toward her, sheltering
his wife like a delicate flower from a frost named Maria. "We just
couldn't make it in time for the director's cut okay?"
Maria walked away. Not okay. Maybe I'll have
better luck converting voting watchers, she thought and soon noticed a tall
young man reading the ApocalEclipse fan forum, she stepped into his cloud of
Old Spice and asked, "What's your timeline route?"
The young man looked up. He had piercing green
eyes like the Son of War himself, and ice-green piercings in his lip and
eyebrow. He swiped his finger across the screen of his phone and read, "Yes
to the rave; No to morphine; Yes to the ride home.--"
"Pssh," she interrupted playfully,
"I've seen that movie already, it's so Disney Princess the only thing it's
missing is talking mice!"
He narrowed his eyes challenging her, "Well,
at least tell me your favorite timeline so I can crap on your parade."
She grinned, "The one I haven't
seen."
"You'd have to go hundreds of times to see
all the endings."
"Two-fourty-three to see every variation,
but there are only three endings--"
"Hashtag spoiler alert!"
"You're on the AE forum!"
"But think of the other people within
earshot," he said lowering his voice.
"True," she copied his volume level and
leaned deeper into his cloud, "I want to see what happens when she falls
in love with the Son of War."
He seemed to realized that he was being lobbied,
"You like the bad boy type huh? I
could be persuaded, what're you offering?"
Oh my
God, this cute guy is flirting with me. I mean he's kind of cute, which is to
say that he is cute, but a little out of my league. Yeah, cause I totally have
a league, it's whatever sports metaphor means the very bottom. Bottom feeders,
that's my league. Catfish, Lobsters, those sort of things. Suddenly she knew without a doubt that if she
flirted with him, he would vote on her route and they would see the Red Army
ending. It was just like the movie, she could even see the prompt jump up
before her eyes.
Timeline choice in 3... 2... 1...
1) Flirt with him
2) Shoot him down
#
Audience chose: Flirt with him!
He seemed to realized that he was being lobbied,
"You like the bad boy type, huh? "
Maria smiled out of the corner of her mouth and
said, "Depends, does your dad command the Red army?"
"Maybe? Is that what those guys with the
armor made from truck tires are called?"
"Oh my God, I love that guy with the
shield made from a car door!"
"That's the Red army? Really? No wonder
you haven't gotten your ending, those guys are hella communists!"
"No they're not! They're stylized after
the Vikings! The loot from the raids was given to the lord and redistributed
according to valor!"
"Wow, calm down on the Discovery
Channel."
"Read Beowulf bitch! and next time you try
negging, pick someone who's within your IQ bracket, and Old Spice does not replace
a shower."
As Maria watched the Angel Gabriel leading the charge
with Death, Pestilence, and Famine at his back she thought back to that moment
and wondered if it would have been worth it to let that asshole walk all over
her, after all, they did lose their timeline vote by one, and Maria knew
exactly which one it was.
#
Audience chose: Shoot him down!
He seemed to realized that he was being lobbied,
"You like the bad boy type huh? I
could be persuaded, what're you offering?"
"Excuse me? What kind of girl do you think
I am?"
He raised his hands, "I... I didn't mean
it like that; Death Camp came by here earlier and they were offering 10 unique
Twitter followers for their ending."
Maria shook her head, "Damn, that's good.
We've got a man on the inside who can get us first in line to buy tickets for
the final showing of ApocalEclipse next month."
He seemed surprised, "That's better! I
supposed you'll require proof for that."
"So you'll vote for our route?" Maria
could barely contain her excitement.
He looked back to his phone, "No, this is
the last time I'm going to watch it. I'm writing an ApocalEclipse fan fiction where
Leah gets sold as a human commodity. I've already got everything I need from
the movie, now I just need the followers."
"That doesn't make any sense, no AE fan
would ever read that," But then Maria realized he didn't even know what
the Red Army was, he'd never even seen that timeline. "Son of a bitch
you're a Troll!"
He laughed in her face, "Nice to meet you.
I'm Austin, as in Austin Texas." It felt like a cold knife through the
heart, and then he twisted it, "Didn't you ever wonder why the Red Army
ending is so illusive?"
She hadn't even considered it before and yet it
had been her life for the last three months. "There IS no Red Army ending."
#
The tall young man who smelled of Old Spice was
staring at her with a concerned look on his face. "Hellooo? You okay? You
just like... zoned out or something. How long have you been in line?"
Maria shook her head and the dust of alternate
timelines flew off and away from her like a flock of pigeons from an oncoming
car. "Yeah, I'm okay. A few hours."
"Here," he reached into a black messenger
bag with the ApocalEclipse moon and anarchy 'A' symbol stitched onto the front,
and pulled out an unopened bottled water.
"Thanks," she said, taking it from
him.
While she drank he asked, "What are you
offering if I vote for your timeline?"
"How many times have you seen this
movie?" She asked.
"5. I didn't want to get on board at
first, but then I started reading the forums and got sucked into the Easter Egg
hunts. This time I'm going for 'No morphine' because it unlocks a bonus scene
between Pestilence and Gabriel, where Pest has a momentary change of heart and decides
to hide the Nephilim child. It's Fiennes' best performance since Deathly
Hallows, supposedly that scene is the why he decided to do the role."
Maria looked at the people standing around him.
He seemed alone. "Are these your watchers?" she asked not even believing
it herself.
"No, I'm solo."
She shook her head, "You're never going to
get that scene if you don't build up voters. Basically you're just taking votes
from the Red Army ending."
"Maybe, but this is the only reason I'm at
the Cineplex. I'd rather do something else than watch a movie I don't want to
see, much less sit through a movie just
so I can vote to watch a movie I don't want to see." He sighed, "How do
they get us to do this? You know we can just watch all the endings when it
comes out on DVD."
Maria started to cry, "But I don't want to
miss it. I've spent three months of my life watching, and voting for this one movie
that I'm going to kick myself if I'm not there to see it and celebrate with my
people."
He shrugged, "My people are hunters, we
search alone."
"Not anymore," she said. "Can I
cut?"
He smiled, moved over, and she stepped into
line beside him. "I'm Mado--I mean-- Maria."
He looked embarrassed about something. "I'm
Gabriel, and before you ask: yes, it's my real name; yes, I know I'm named
after the bad guy in the movie; and yes, I do vote for my namesake to die."
Maria took another sip of water and thought,
maybe there's a reason the Disney princess ending is so popular...